Already! Half way to that 6 weeks point where - what? I don't know, but that seems to be the turning point - more sleeping at night (supposedly, not for Luka though), less feedings? Also, that is the time the mother is (again supposedly) all recovered and can go back to work (I so do not support that - I am from Europe and maternity leave is much longer in most countries, but that's a whole new post)... I do feel tired, and some nights are easier than others, but I still enjoy this time. I mentioned before, I don't remember this time with Luka. I remember being tired, but I don't remember time with Luka, and I don't remember him. I read that every mother of a newborn should remember that "everything comes to an end". Even though I do think that is a good thing to remember, not only if you are a mother of a newborn, but when you have a screaming toddler, when you have a toothache, or in any situation you want to end... (when I (Luka) had a bad night or day, that's what I would think of) what can happen is that that's the only think you think of, and you forget to enjoy the current time (with your newborn, not your aching tooth). Maybe that's what happened to me and I forgot so much...So this time, I will enjoy the time with Sven, and I will sleep some other time...

It seems that Sven likes baths too, like his big brother. He likes to sit in water, likes to be showered, likes water on his face or his head... anything goes. Water babies...

We had our two week checkup today and we are happy to say that the jaundice is gone. We are also proud to say that he gained a record amount of weight in the last week. Only 7 days ago he weighed in at 8 pounds 7 ounces, today he was 9 pounds 12 ounces!!! The doctor asked us what he has been eating, and when we told him it is just breast milk, he laughed! He seriously thought that we have been adding the formula as we did the first couple of days before the milk came in, to fight jaundice. But no, just the milk... Last week ha also gained a lot (but that was with formula): from Thursday to Monday he went from 7 pounds 9 ounces to 8 pounds 7 ounces, which was 1 ounce more than his birth weight. Which means he beat his brother - it took him 7 days to go back to his birth weight. Does this mean we are going to have another michelin man? Luka was always in the 90% by weight...

Some quick shots of the nursery I took before Sven was born. There are a few more things there now but it is still not finished. I bought some wooden letters I want to cover with fabric (inspired by Magnetic Letters project from Purl Bee) and place on the wall around the crib and the changing area. All I have to do is find some time, pick fabrics, cut out and glue... I wander how long that will take considering current circumstances?

By the way - as  I mentioned earlier - we were supposed to paint the room, but then ran out of time. The room is still yellow, as it was for Luka, except that I changed the accent color from blue to red. Red shelves, red chair, red crib linens. I made the crib skirt in white/red stripes; outside of the bumper is in red/brown dots, the inside is white and it is bound in the same striped fabric as the skirt (close up). When my husband saw it, he said it is girly (it does look pink from far, but it is red!) so if we have a boy, we would have to replace it. We did have a boy, but he agreed it could stay. I like it, and I don't care - he is going to be a metrosexual, or uber sexual, or whatever the current trend is... :-)

Yes, it's been a week, and today the doctor said his jaundice is under control. He will be yellowish for another week or two - especially the head and eyes, but he is recovering. He is an excellent eater, and that helped - apparently, eating a lot and pooping a lot cleans the system. We now call him the poop machine because he poops between and during feedings, which is basically every hour!

For now he is a really mellow baby - sleeps, eats and poops. I forgot a lot from when Luka was born, from these first few weeks - he was colicky until he was about 5 months, but I could not remember when it started. According to his doctor, this sleep-only period ends at about 3 weeks old. Then we will now how fussy he really is, and whether he will be colicky or not. So, two more weeks.

Luka is taking this change extremely well. I do try not to have Sven in my arms all the time, but even when I do have him, usually when I am feeding him, Luka is not freaking out. I also try to spend as much time with Luka as possible (when he is not in pre-school), as much as I can now that I am still recovering from surgery. And my husband has been taking him out to a park, to the movies (by the way they loved Horton hears a Who!) - as soon as I can drive and move around more, it will be easier to do things together...

On another note...

This was in yesterday's New York TImes Design Spring 2008. Beautiful fabrics!

Hi, my name is Sven and when my brother Luka saw me for the first time (I was naked) he said "It's a boy!". Duh!

I was born on 03/10/08 at 8:29 am. I was 21 inches long and 8 pounds 6 ounces heavy. Everybody tells me I am a big boy, but my mommy says I look tiny. If you think something is wrong with the camera - you are wrong! I am yellow - I have jaundice but not so bad - so the doctors let me go home. 

Home is fun. I mostly sleep, eat and I get changed a lot. I don't cry much, but when I do, I get so red my people laugh at me - sooo embarrassing. On the other hand, when I cry they pick me up and walk around with me, and that's fun. I am still deciding whether crying is worth it or not.

I have to eat now. so see you later.

And tomorrow we will be four (I am behind the camera)...

No, the baby is still not here. This is Luka, the day he was born. I have been thinking about that day...

I don't like this idea of going in and having a baby on a schedule. I realized I was hoping I would go to labor early, would not be able to get to the hospital on time and have the baby the v-way. But then I remind myself why I opted for c-section - I tend to have large babies with large heads that do not match my anatomy. And the fear of my baby being stuck (and pulled out using tools) is actually greater than myself going through the surgery. So c-section it is...

But I am still afraid. I hinted in previous posts that the last time wasn't a good experience... so here is the story... I will try to keep it short.

The bottom line is - I could feel pain during the surgery. 

My doctor at the time wasn't there (Luka came a little bit ahead of schedule, and he was out of town) so nobody really told me then why that happened. Later he said that my epidural catheter was misplaced. The other possibility is that I don't react to drugs as other people. Wednesday, my doctor told me I have to talk about this with anesthesiologist on Monday, he was confident they could make me not feel pain.

Luka was born on Tuesday 10/05/04 at 8.34am. I went to the hospital that Sunday morning because I got a fever the night before that wasn't coming down. They were able to get the fever down, sent me home and told me to come back if the fever comes back. We were barely back home, when I got the fever again. So we went back. This time we stayed. Luka's heartbeat was going down, and my fever was steady so the doctor said the baby needs to come out. At that time I had no contractions and I wasn't dilating at all (even though the due date was 10/05).

That night they gave me some vaginal pill to start dilation and contractions. By morning I was at 5cm and the contractions were mild - I thought - this is going to be easy. Then they started Pitosin, slowly increasing the dose and thus increasing the intensity and frequency of contractions. But the contractions were still mild. I had visitors, I was watching TV, reading... Then when I was fully dilated, they broke the water. It was about 4pm. 

It was like someone has turned a volume dial from min to max. The contractions suddenly became to strong, soon I was asking for epidural. I was told I should ask for an attending, not have a resident give me the epidural. So I did. But they told me it was shift change so the doctor was not available. I waited a little longer, but then the doctor was in surgery. I could not wait any longer... A resident came in, but I had faith, I had to... But the faith was soon gone - she was nervous, maybe her shift was long and she just wanted to get home - I don't know. But I could feel her being not too happy when she missed the first time because I could not hold still while I had a contraction. How dare I?

Soon the catheter was in (and it stayed in so I could give myself more drugs - just s little dose - if I needed) and the drugs were in. Soon my legs started feeling funny and the pain from contractions was bearable. I was happy that I could still feel them, because I did not want too much, I still wanted to feel pushing. But about 45 min later, I could feel everything again. Drugs wore off. Pain was terrible and I still had the IV in so could not really move to find a better position. My husband helped a lot, holding my hand and helping me count and breathe (those childbirthing classes came in handy). At some point they gave me another full dose of drugs, but they also wore off in about half hour. Later I got one more - three full doses from 5pm Monday until very early Tuesday morning. Same thing. The epidural just did not work. From 5pm Monday until about 7am Tuesday I was pushing like crazy, screaming with pain (I broke one IV pushing on the bed) - I never really thought I would go through natural child birth. But! the baby did not move. I was fully dilated, he was positioned perfectly, they could see the top of his head, but he could not go through.

At about 7:30 am Tuesday a doctor came in and told me they could let me push a few more hours or they could do a c-section. They could not let me push for much longer because of the fear of infection, since the water was broken more than 12 hrs ago. But, he said he didn't thing the few hours would do much. So we went for the c-section.

I was exhausted. My pain threshold was probably lower than normal. I haven't slept or eaten (or drank really) for two nights. But I thought - 30 more minutes and I will have my baby and I will be able to rest. They gave me more drugs - using the same catheter they used for epidural. They told me I would feel some pulling and tugging but no pain. But soon, the tugging and pulling was so bad I was on the verge of tears, telling my husband I couldn't take pain any more. It felt like somebody was sitting on my stomach. Then I heard Luka cry, he grabbed the doctor's coat and would not let go. They wanted me to hold him, but I was too tired and afraid I would drop him. My husband held him and I gave him a kiss. Then the burning sensation started, and they offered to put me out, but I wanted to be awake, I wanted to hold Luka asap. Then the terrible pain, at which point my husband made an executive decision and gave the anesthesiologist permission to drug me. I did not know at the time, I just remember fighting sleep. I remember telling my husband I did not want to go to sleep. The next thing I remember is waking up, being very drowsy, terribly thirsty and a nurse asking me whether I can move my legs. I told her I could have moved them the whole time, even through the surgery. Pain after the surgery wasn't too bad. It was all over...

But it was painful... And the mystery is still unsolved - most probably misplaced catheter, but who knows. The only thing I know is I don't want to feel that pain ever again....

The nurse asked me today whether I was resting at home, so that I don't go into labor before Monday... I just said I have a 3 year old little guy who never learned to walk, instead he runs. I spent maybe an hour at home today - first we had an ear specialist checkup (Luka has tubes - they were put in two years ago when he had 5 ear infections in a few months); then I had an appointment with my doctor and finally we went to the park - ended up walking and playing for 3 hrs. When we got home, we ate dinner and went straight to bed...

I thought my last appointment would be more remarkable - it lasted exactly 7 min. He measured by belly. listened to the heartbeat, and then we talked about the surgery. That part was unremarkable - it appears that these scheduled c-sections are pretty "easy". You show up the day before to get some blood drawn, and then you show up again the day later, the day of the surgery, about 2 hrs prior to the surgery. Oh, and you are not supposed to eat anything for about 8 hours... Not much to it...

Oh, yes, I am scheduled for Monday 8am!

Today was a productive day. Jura's (the nickname of the new baby) room is almost all painted - it was touch-painting, but still it took a lot of time. That was my mom. Me, I finally finished all the bedding - the crib skirt, the bumper and three sheets. No pictures - I wanted to take a picture once the bedding is in the crib. This sewing project was fun - the skirt and the sheets more so than the bumper, but it also reminded me I do not like to sew large things, and, in general, projects that tend to linger around (well, except quilts...). 

Are you ready? That's the question people have been asking me recently. Starting with my doctor last week. I just smile... or giggle... Am I ready? I really don't know what to say... I still cannot imagine myself breastfeeding again, waking up again (those 5am feedings are the worst), changing those tiny diapers, calming down a colicky baby... but what I am most worried about (worried is maybe too strong word) is all the change that is going to happen, mostly change in our routine. Luka is almost 3 and a half tears old, and I know him inside out - I know how he will react to different things, what to expect, how to act around him. I know what and how he likes to play, we have a bed routine... And now everything will be upside down... Don't get me wrong - I am very excited that a new person is coming to be with us, I am excited to get to know that new person. But the setting the routine will take time... And... Luka is handling everything that is going on now really great. We talk about the baby a lot, and he is always happy to hear why will the baby cry, what will the baby eat... he picked a little toy to give to the baby, and a little outfit for when we go home from the hospital; we picked out all the "baby toys" for the "baby room" together; he told me one day, out of the blue that he will be a big brother; another time he said we will have to be quiet when the baby sleeps; and today when he hugged me he said - mommy I am gentle - and he rubbed my tummy. He is so sweet. But I have to expect at least some acting out, asking for attention, jealousy? It is just natural. Making sure I give enough attention to both (oh, yes, and there is the hubby too...) will be the hardest to juggle. 

Tomorrow I go for the last checkup with my doctor. Tomorrow, I will know exactly when, and how and where... exciting. 

By the way - the pictures above were taken this morning around Venice with my phone camera. I think it takes pretty good pictures...

... days, or one week left until we are 4. Just last week I still had a lot of energy - Tuesday my mom and I spent the whole day walking around shopping for fabrics and sewing supplies (and other stuff); and the rest of the week I spent mostly sewing for the baby. The crib skirt is done, and the bumper needs another hour to be finished. I did go to bed earlier than usual in the evening, but I felt great! And then something happened on Saturday and now there is only one word to describe how I feel - exhausted. On weekends I usually do not get any sewing or any serious work done, because I mostly spend time with Luka. But today, I went out because I had teeth cleaning appointment, then I did some light work in the nursery (I caulked the baseboards!), then I made vegetable soup for dinner tonight. By then in was 3pm; now it is 5pm, and I have not done anything since. And I will probably not do anything else today...

The lady who was cleaning my teeth today was new and the conversation I had with her was, well, interesting... Opinionated would be the best way to describe her... Some of the comments she made about how far along I was, how it is "amazing" I still drove, asking me whether I can turn to my left to spit... I had a feeling she was trying to tell me something... Which reminded me of one of the nurses during delivery last time. We had brought some chocolate dipped cookies to the hospital with us. The delivery story is very long, but let me just say it did not go as planned. When they started inducing labor, they told me I could not eat anything. The box was unopened when we got to the hospital (these are Croatian cookies my mom brought over with her) but when Sunday night turned into Monday night my husband could not wait any longer and he opened the box. When they told me very early Tuesday morning that it will have to be c-section, I turned to my husband and told him to save some of those cookies for me, because I could not think of anything else I wanted to eat more once I was out of surgery. At that moment, the nurse turns around and says - no, you can not have any of those once the baby is born - chocolate has caffeine, and that is not good for the baby. She was one of those militant types... At that time, exhausted as we all were, we did not question her, my husband just ate all the cookies and we went into the operating room. Later when we though about it.... I got three full doses of epidural (long story...), then I got more medication for the surgery and then they finally had to put me out (with medication of course) towards the end of the surgery (long, long story)... so with all that medication - how bad would a little caffeine be. My mom brought the same cookies this time (my husbands favorite) and I am taking them with me to the hospital...

I hope to finish the bumper and sheets tomorrow and also have some pictures of the newly acquired fabrics...

I have been taking these pictures in the same place, usually in the morning, wearing the same shirt - but these last two weeks I have had trouble getting a clear picture - they are all a little (or a lot) fuzzy. I have no idea (and no time to figure out) what the heck is going on, so one more bad picture. Maybe next week...

Good news is that the pain in my ribs is bearable finally - I feel just very sore. It god bad once again - last Wednesday - so bad, I actually had to take a taxi to go to the doctor's appointment. The driver wasn't very happy - maybe it's just the way cab drivers are - but maybe he was afraid - He saw me rolling into his cab and I was in pain on every turn or when he breaked or started the car again - afraid I was going to go into labor in his cab! We got to UCLA, around 4pm in 20!!! minutes. At that time of the day it would take me probably 45 minutes...

We revised our baby room plans. It will not be repainted after all. My husband is too busy with other stuff so we agreed we would just touch paint, and leave it yellow. My Mom is flying in today, but we will have other little things to do, that painting just won't happen. I decided that I will accent the room in red, it will work for boy or a girl and it will be different from Luka's room. Also, we bought a chair/sleeper for the room (we used to have a futon but that had a new place and function now) with red covers, and some pegged shelves that I will paint red too. And we rearranged the furniture... that was a little tough. When we started I had a rough idea about what I want, but then when we put the chair together, it just didn't work. It seemed that the furniture is going to have to be as before. I was so sad... I don;t know why... hormones? I just wanted the room to be different, and with the same wall color... ahhh... so I left the room while my husband was finishing the chair, and while I was preparing dinner he made it work! It's a bit different than that rough idea I had, but it works great! Soon I will have some pictures to share...

I am excited about tomorrow... fabrics and supplies shopping - last time before the baby comes...

In the last post I said I thought I can see the end of the cold. Well, I had been sooo wrong. Last Monday I started feeling a bit sore on the left side (above ribs) - I thought it was from the coughing. On Tuesday, the pain spread and I basically could not cough standing up, or sitting down - the only way it did not hurt too much was standing up and bending, holding on to a table or some other surface. But that evening... just as I was about to get the cough medicine, I had a cough fit and heard the strangest grinding sound from my ribs, and then the pain... I literally set on the floor, gasping for air. I could not get up for a couple of minutes, and then I called my husband to help me up. I was in so much pain, I could not take a full breath, or walk, or sit down or get up... without my husbands help, crying with pain. I am pretty good with pain, but this was almost unbearable - on the scale from 1 to 10, it was definitely a 10. I called the obgyn on call, and they told me to take tylenol and use hot compresses. That helped a little, and by morning I could get up and sit down by myself. But the problem was when I coughed. That was terrible. On Wednesday I saw my doctor, who gave me tylenol with codeine (when he saw in how much pain I was), antibiotics and sent me to get chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia - apparently long lasting colds in pregnant women like to end in pneumonia. Wednesday night I had another coughing fit, there was more grinding sound, and the pain got even worse, if that;s possible. Actually, now it hurt all the time, not just while coughing. I could not breathe. I had the painkillers, but they did not kick in until the next afternoon. I could not believe I could be in so much pain. This was the second night when I did not sleep. The pain killers made me sleep, but it was such a weird sleep, I would not move an inch and when I woke up - I would be more tired than before. The pain gor bearable by Thursday afternoon, but not without painkillers. Today was the first day I dod not take any painkillers even though I am in pain, but it is not that bad. It just feels terribly sore, but I wanted to get off the meds as soon as possible - for the baby.

And the baby - it cooperated throughout the whole time. Sometimes with the cough so violent so late in the pregnancy - the water can break and labor can start, but thank god the baby is OK... Now I have three more weeks to get better, get some sleep and recover enough to be able to go through those first 6 weeks of not sleeping... Only three weeks, and I had so many plans.... They included two more trips for fabric/supplies buying, but right now I could not do that. I am still too tired an sleepy to drive and walk around. Maybe next week when my mom is here...

I did not post last week, so, yes, it is only 4 weeks to delivery. About two weeks until my mom arrives. I am happy to report that we (my hubby) did make some progress with the new arrival preparations - he fixed all the baby furniture. All that needs to be done in the room - the big stuff anyway - is to paint the walls and I need to find a chair or a slider for me to sit in. The room is now a very lively yellow - this was Luka's color. Even though the color is fun and fine, I want to change it. I picked a very light lavender/blue - Behr Hosta Flower: 640 C-1. I figure it will work for either a boy or a girl. And the chair - that's not going so well. With Luka I used to have a futon there - I was told I need a rocker/slider, that the futon will be awkward - but it wasn't. It was actually great for those early feedings (around 4 or 5 am) when I could not go back to my bed - I just slept there for a couple of hours. This time around, the futon has been repurposed so I need to get something new. I don't really like the gliders - they are not so comfortable, and I feel weird sliding. And I have not seen one that I can say I like, they are all kind of ugly. So I am thinking about an armchair, something deep and oversized and comfortable... but that's not so easy to find...

This is only the second belly picture I have taken with baby No. 2 - or as we call "it": Jura (this time we decided not to find out whether it's a boy or a girl). I planned to take more, but you know how it is... busy, busy, busy... and, after all, this IS the 2nd baby! (:-) With the 3rd one (hypothetically speaking) there would be no pictures at all!

My husband claims my belly is smaller this time (or is he trying to make me feel better?). I am pretty sure I am carrying this baby higher than Luka, but I don't remember feeling this big this early. I stopped working only 2 weeks before Luka was born, and I don't remember feeling big until then. And this time, I am already having hard time putting my sneakers on. I have a feeling my belly is pressing  my lungs and I cannot catch my breath. I have to dig up old pictures and compare - I am pretty sure my belly is bigger this time (I did weigh more at the start of this pregnancy - no, it was not baby weight, it was lazy-bum weight - but I actually gained less this time). Or, maybe it is just that I am 4 years older and have a very active 3 year old that makes this pregnancy harder?

Only 7 weeks! Actually, it is 8 and a half weeks to due date (03/21), but we have c-section scheduled for Monday, 03/10. I had a c-section with Luka because he was too big (8lb 7ounces), more precisely his head was too large. So, this time time around I opted to have the c-section because the doctor says I have only 50% chance to have vaginal birth since this baby is likely to be even bigger (some doctors will not even consider vaginal birth after c-section because of an increased risk of complications during delivery). I was not opposed to try vaginal birth, but what I was most afraid of is that the baby gets stuck mid-way at which point c-section would not be an option anymore, and they would have to pull the baby out. And, that's bad. We were lucky that did not happen with Luka!

Am I panicking? Not really, well, maybe a little bit. Bit I am aware that there re many things that need to be done still, before the baby arrives (and what if it decides to arrive early - OK, I cannot think about that because that freaks me out!). We haven't touched the babies room, except for moving Luka's stuff to his new room. But the walls need to be repainted, furniture fixed (very disappointed with our furniture - expensive but falling apart!), baby clothes taken out of storage, missing stuff bought... ahhhh... I am not even sure I know what I need for a newborn anymore. I am hoping my memory will be jogged once I start unpacking things. Also, my mom is coming in 5 weeks, so I am hoping she will be helping with some of these things... again, if the baby does not arrive early. I did order a changing table and a mattress pad today. And I made some changing pad covers, as I mentioned in the last post... but I don't have crib sheets, and I want to make a new bumper... and wall decorations, and.... OK, I need to do some planning....